he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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