cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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