turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
