Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
