You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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