it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
