I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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