Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
