i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
