my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
this hospital has no fireball
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
