There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
