Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
