Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
