We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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