but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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