I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
