if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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