Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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