I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I need water and some morals
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