Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Less talking, more tequila
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
