also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
