I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She bit a glass in half.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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