remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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