but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
