Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
