I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
