I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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