When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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