he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
