You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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