he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
babies were throwing up all over the place
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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