Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
