hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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