she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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