But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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