he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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