We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My feet surprised me
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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