I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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