Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
