it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
