how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
