Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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