So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
