this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
