he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics â¤ï¸
Randomize
