Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
