I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
