is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
