im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
