halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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