i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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